The title of this post was inspired by a Psychology Today article entitled: ‘Is anyone normal today?’
This reminded me of a blog post by Sally – Eternal Echoes – in which she posited:
The thing is that people are always categorising other people, it is a trait of humanity to define ourselves as normal and then there are others. We define others by gender, sexuality, colour, race, creed, religion,wealth, poverty, ability and disability… the list goes on…
We certainly have a tendency to judge and categorise other folk, but I wonder if we all have the trait to define ourselves as ‘normal’, and judge others accordingly.
I mention this, as for most of my life, I have operated in exactly the opposite manner. I’ve tended to judge everyone else around me as ‘normal’ and aspired to be the same.
This tendency was amplified on becoming a Christian.
The Christians I first rubbed shoulders with all seemed so together, you know the type: sin free, perfect kids, great jobs, consistently harmonious and perfect marriages, always in touch with God, you get the idea.
You have to bear in mind that I started my faith journey with the Jehovah Witnesses and outwardly they appeared rather like their tranquil images of paradise portrayed in their pamphlets. The JW’s wasted no time in informing me that I was head of the household and solely responsible for the spiritual life and conduct of my family. As a brand new convert in my early twenties with 3 young step children, this constituted a crushing weight of responsibility, especially given that I couldn’t even be responsible for my own spirituality, and didn’t really understand what the concept even meant. They offered no practical assistance in this regard, except to cherry-pick damning passages from the Bible.
I will say this though, the JW’s made it abundantly clear that my – then – girlfriend and I were living in sin, and so we rushed off to the registry office and got hitched.
Best thing I ever did!
Although, to give you an idea of my sinful and deviant nature, when booking the registry office with my best man, we pretended to be gay lovers wanting to get married. This may not sound like a big deal nowadays, but this was before the days of civil partnerships, and the look of sheer shock and horror on the face of the registrar was pure gold.
CAVEAT: I’m of course now a beacon of light and righteousness. HA!
Upon leaving the Jehovah Witnesses, I ended up in a wonderful local Anglican Church filled with nice, middle class Christians, exhibiting the love of God and perfect ‘normality’.
Boy did I strive to be like these folk, failing miserably at every turn, and wondering why this sanctification business that I’d heard so much about, wasn’t working for me. I was just as much a scumbag as ever.
My wife used to try to reassure me that even these ‘normal’ Christians had sin issues somewhere in their lives, and over the years she was proved right. This was affirmed by growing closer to some of them, and peering beneath the ‘Sunday Face’ veneer.
It was a MASSIVE revelation for me to discover that these same Christians that I’d held up as paragons of virtue, were in fact beset with their own struggles: with sin, with family, with church, with God, and so on.
It took years to break the ‘normal Christian’ illusion, in the same way it had taken me years previously to break the ‘normal’ illusion with those folk I met in society at large.
This was a true breakthrough for me as it meant I could forgo the exhausting business of appearing ‘normal’, both within the church and outside. I could happily cast my ‘Sunday Mask’ in the bin.
I now understood that if faith was indeed an ongoing journey, then we will all be at different places, and junctures on that journey. We all have our own journey to make.
Putting on the ‘Church Face’ or ‘Sunday Face’ is counterproductive to ourselves and potentially damaging to others.
The real irony lies in the fact that Jesus Himself was the image of the ideal and normal Christian, and yet how many of us have achieved His standard?
So, in some ways, Jesus is in fact abnormal in his perfection of Godly living. Yes we should aspire to His standard, but not just through our own effort, but by the infusing of His vitalising and transformative power.
We’re not to judge ourselves against our brothers and sisters, but against Christ. However, He will never overburden us and crush us with the weight of responsibility, for He will lift this burden onto himself.
So, with us all on different parts of our faith journey, I no longer believe in a ‘normal’ Christian to aspire to and imitate.
And if you still labour under the illusion of the ‘normal’ Christian that you wish to emulate, give it up, they doesn’t exist. There’s no such thing as ‘normal’.
We’re all a work in progress and if you put any other flawed human on a pedestal, you will surely end up disappointed.
I’ve officially now given up trying to be – and appear – normal, and it feels great! I am what God has made me to be and that’s enough for me, as Jesus leads me by the hand, home to the Father, by the power of the Holy Spirit.
And that’s all that counts.