Brendan J Byrne, the producer and director of the BBC documentary “Breaking the Silence”, says the stigma of suicide must be smashed.
Just noticed that the BBC will be doing a documentary on the subject of suicide called “Breaking the Silence“, which will be on BBC1 tonight (Monday) after the 10 o’clock news.
Over at the BBC news website, the producer and director of the programme, Brendan J Byrne, rightly notes the difficulty of covering a subject of this nature, and not just because of the emotional pain of losing a loved one.
The loss of someone through suicide has additional dimensions to the usual trauma of grief, namely, stigma, which makes this subject an almost unmentionable taboo.
Christianity has traditionally been at the forefront of damning suicide, this from Wikki:
There were seven suicides in the Bible,[3] most notably in Matthew 27:3-5, the suicide of Judas Iscariot, who betrayed Jesus.
According to the theology of the Catholic Church, death by suicide is considered a grave or serious sin. The chief Catholic Christian argument is that one’s life is the property of God and a gift to the world, and to destroy that life is to wrongly assert dominion over what is God’s and is a tragic loss of hope.
Conservative Protestants (Evangelicals, Charismatics and Pentecostals) have often argued that because suicide involves self-murder, then anyone who commits it is sinning and is the same as if the person murdered another human being.
There was a tradition of disallowing those who took their own lives from being buried in “sacred” ground and many other such things, some of which were far worse.
More recently the Catholic church has softened its stance a little:
The Catholic Church in England and Wales appeared to soften its stance on suicide, claiming it should be greeted with “compassion” rather than blame.
The auxiliary bishop of Westminster, the Rt Rev Bernard Longley, said church teaching on suicide had not changed but its understanding of mental health had altered.
He said: “Suicide is a grave sin, but an individual must be mentally healthy to be fully aware that what they are doing is a sin.
“When a person commits suicide, they are generally so clouded by confusion and despair as to be no longer in full control of their mental faculties.
“God does not condemn anyone not fully aware of what they are doing – His mercy is without end.”
I will say that at the very least the main denominations are grappling with the issue of mental health and so that’s somewhat heartening.
I had a ‘black and white’ doctrine on suicide. I simply believed that those who took their own lives, in effect committed murder on themselves, consequently this didn’t bode well for them in the eternal stakes.
And then something happened.
A dear brother in the Lord called Justin (36 yrs old) who suffered from Schizophrenia hung himself towards the end of 2008.
Like so many things we unquestioningly believe, when forced to evaluate them in the light of real life, personal events, they can be harder to define in terms of black and white.
His suicide was completely out of the blue and was done with efficient and methodical aforethought.
I didn’t really understand the meaning of the word ‘shock’ until I received the news of his untimely death.
Justin had been assessed by a psychiatric ‘crises team’ a couple of days prior to his suicide and was deemed as ‘no threat to himself’.
There does seem to be something intrinsically and intuitively wrong with suicide, but couldn’t the same be said for death itself? What about the scripture that says something like:
‘Those that hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life’.
‘Jesus wept’ is one of the shortest verses in the Bible and he wept over the death of a friend.
Now Justin was without doubt one of the most tormented souls I have ever met. He was also one of the most spiritually insightful and discerning souls I had ever met.
This was such an irony, he had deep spiritual insight but it was almost as if this came at a price.
This may sound strange but Justin did not murder himself, he was just simply internally tormented and tortured without mercy.
The Christian community did all they could to support Justin and I will leave it to your imagination how this all impacted on the church. I will say that Christians in general are poorly equipped to deal with mental illness, but the same can be said for most folk.
After this event, I really looked into the scriptures and just simply couldn’t find anything to substantiate the claim that he was not in the arms of Jesus.
It’s amazing how many so called ‘teachings’ we go around with, that have no real scriptural basis…it can be shocking.
…’nothing can separate us from the Love of Jesus’…including death itself. He will not lose one.
Do take the opportunity to watch this programme if you’re able, as judging by the BBC news report I think it’s gonna be helpful.
And finally, if you do feel suicidal get to your GP asap, as our society is thankfully well equipped to help.
There really is a brighter tomorrow.
April 12th, 2010 at 12:02 pm
@webmaster: Did you write this? It’s a lovely piece, full of compassion and insight. Despite the sorrowful subject your loving, thoughtful tone raised my spirits. The fact that I agree with every word has, of course, nothing to do with it.
Mental illness can be unbearable, and I think the argument that the actions of someone in agony cannot be regarded as a cold-blooded murder of the self is convincing.
OTOH, I find the arguments for assisted suicide deeply troubling. I actually know of a case. My extended family were friends – are friends – with a Dutch family for many, many years. Over two generations. The grandfather developed a fast-growing brain tumour. It was terminal but, more importantly, the disease would, as it developed, destroy his mind. He would cease to know loved ones, his whole personality would gradually be destroyed.
Euthanasia is legal in the Netherlands. After much soul-searching he opted to end his life while still in full possession of his faculties, surrounded by his family. Apparently he just sat propped up in bed for awhile chatting, they all said their goodbyes and he was put to sleep using medication. Despite what one might think, I understand it was a very moving scene.
That was over 10 years ago. The family (who are Christians) do not regret their decision. And I can see why. But it troubles me greatly, just the same. I too feel it’s a rejection of God in some sense – and I fear that whole “thin end of the wedge” business. If it’s OK in this desperate case, why not in end-stage dementia? And reports from Dignitas suggest that candidates for assisted suicide may be mentally rather than physically ill.
April 12th, 2010 at 12:06 pm
@webmaster: Did you write this? It’s a lovely piece, full of compassion and insight. Despite the sorrowful subject your loving, thoughtful tone raised my spirits. The fact that I agree with every word has, of course, nothing to do with it.
Mental illness can be unbearable, and I think the argument that the actions of someone in agony cannot be regarded as a cold-blooded murder of the self is convincing.
OTOH, I find the arguments for assisted suicide deeply troubling. I actually know of a case. My extended family were friends – are friends – with a Dutch family for many, many years. Over two generations. The grandfather developed a fast-growing brain tumour. It was terminal but, more importantly, the disease would, as it developed, destroy his mind. He would cease to know loved ones, his whole personality would gradually be destroyed.
Euthanasia is legal in the Netherlands. After much soul-searching he opted to end his life while still in full possession of his faculties, surrounded by his family. Apparently he just sat propped up in bed for awhile chatting, they all said their goodbyes and he was put to sleep using medication. Despite what one might think, I understand it was a very moving scene.
That was over 10 years ago. The family (who are Christians) do not regret their decision. And I can see why. But it troubles me greatly, just the same. I too feel it’s a rejection of God in some sense – and I fear that whole “thin end of the wedge” business. If it’s OK in this desperate case, why not in end-stage dementia? And reports from Dignitas suggest that candidates for assisted suicide may be mentally rather than physically ill.
My husband died after a year of terminal illness. He slipped away of a side-effect just before we arrived at the hospice stage but he had already suffered terribly. He never expressed suicidal feelings – he clung to life and, most fervently, to me and to his children. I have never experienced such love, such total intimacy. Had he decided to leave the party early, so to speak, we would all have missed some of the most precious months of our lives.
April 12th, 2010 at 12:25 pm
Oh thanks Sophie, yes I wrote this from personal experience. Between you and I, I also run the Christian mental health website mentioned in the post.
I feel the same as you about Euthanasia.
Thank you for sharing the lovely thoughts about your husband and his passing. I also meant to thank you for your comments in which you mentioned alcohol and the AA recently.
April 12th, 2010 at 2:20 pm
@webmaster: what a lovely site! I really like the design. Looks very fresh and yet soothing. I love the statement:
“You are not alone, you are not bad, it is not your fault, God made you as you are and loves and accepts you as you are, we understand, there is hope and a brighter tomorrow!
Together we are stronger…. ”
I’ve bookmarked it. I suffer from depression and can see this being a major resource for me. Thanks.
You posted a couple of days ago about a criticism from Goy. I have posted elsewhere that I didn’t think what you blogged was “self-hating nonsense”
I’d like to expand on that. It seems to me that the research which caused the controversy simply (if uncomfortably) reflected the weakness and error of the American Evangelical right. When Christianity is displayed as a badge of division, marked by arrogance and self-righteousness, then naturally it will reflect those values. I can think of congregations here where I’m sure this research would provide very different answers.
Examining this research, though chastening, is not self-hatred. Any attempt I make at reform has to start with me and my conduct, and it’s the same for the faith community. I feel no responsibility for the crisis within Catholicism: I am not a Catholic and long ago decided that its difficulties were intrinsic, and its teachings disordered.
This research, however, was done on mainly Protestant subjects, and therefore does concern me, though I haven’t the faintest idea what I can do about it – apart from pray.
April 12th, 2010 at 6:17 pm
To moralise euthanasia first they have to rationalise suicide by the nature of the act there is no stigma attached to the departed, the B.B.C. and the neoliberal left again sowing the seeds of moral confusion.
As with christianity in the U.K. the B.B.C. has been subverted by discordianism, neoliberalism and islam.
April 12th, 2010 at 9:13 pm
Brendan J Byrne, the producer and director of the BBC documentary “Breaking the Silence”, says the stigma of morality must be smashed.
April 12th, 2010 at 10:40 pm
Sadly it seems the programme is only being broadcast on BBC Northern Ireland. Grateful if anyone knows how I can see it here in England via web or wherever?
Goy – You’ve lost me there. Not sure I understand either of your posts above. Could you elaborate please? Thanks.
April 13th, 2010 at 12:45 am
@Jim,
The point is without a moral code or value structure christianity then becomes an anything goes whim, meaningless devoid of any cohesion nothing more than a pseudo-religion a car for the vainest vanity spiked with self-righteousness.
Abased by human submission christianity becomes nothing more than a suicide pact or death cult.
April 13th, 2010 at 9:33 am
@Goy.
I disagree with both your premise and your conclusion.
I don’t know if you have ever been close to people who have committed suicide, but I have, and I can assure you tere is not much rational premeditation going on at that point. How that person can be held responsible for committing a grave sn is beyond my comprehension, as is the stigma that remains with the innocent relatives and loved ones.
Hopefully the days are long gone when it was widely believed that mental illness was the result of possession by devils, or that those committed suicide were consciously committing a sin. In the light of our vastly improved understanding of mental illness, it is surely those who continue to adopt this cruel and compassionless view towards suicide who are the vainest and most self-righteous among us.
April 13th, 2010 at 9:49 am
@Goy, I just want to reiterate that I’m in no way condoning euthanasia.
I am explicitely referring to the issue of a serverely mentall ill person taking their own life whilst in the midst of a mental crisis.
I am actively opposed to legal euthanasia in our society for many reasons, not least of which is having had the privilege of sharing the ‘final stretch’ of medical patients.
http://www.google.com/intl/en/images/logos/custom_search_logo_sm.gif%3BLH:30%3BLP:1%3BVLC:%23551a8b%3BDIV:%23cccccc%3B&cx=011435676733310266060:gk93tvdoxse&adkw=AELymgVT_bg4eeaYl9-WJjHoOLlWRtyf-gBEqIWlUjCi9x_80GGEcdig0RGtjCMyj0TUFT_aCKe7Y1MQjbpmDi-3tjspNSGc77Hv4pitcARLo7FZGOxstCg&boostcse=0&q=euthanasia&start=10&sa=N” rel=”nofollow”>eChurch Euthanasia
And I have also referred to this phenomenon as a “death cult”.
April 13th, 2010 at 10:12 am
Also @Goy.
A couple of the words you’ve used had me puzzled. “Neo-liberalism” to my mind is normally used when discussing economic policy, and I think ” Discordianism” is normally used to refer to a particular religion.
Since participating in these blogs I’ve come across a lot of new terms which tend to be used for religious topics, and I find the semantics of religious debate fascinating, but it seems to me that people are too free with throwing out words out of context, which often makes the meaning obscure.
April 13th, 2010 at 10:55 am
@Jim,
This is not about personal experiences or preferences it is about christian society turning a blind eye to the act of suicide.
This is a political agenda take a close look and think about these coded words “the stigma of suicide must be smashed.” This is like the mob shouting up to the confused would be jumper that it is ok to jump.
Most suicides are parasuicides gone wrong if there is an acceptance that suicide is in some way proper and not to be “stigmatized” then we have legitimized the act and have become complicit.
Condemning the act in no way precludes a person from expressing compassion for those who have lost.
April 13th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
@Jim,
“Neo-liberalism” = the politics from across the political spectrum left to right having both the qualities of totalitarianism and individualism without moral accountability or consequence the convolution makes it difficult to define this type of politicking and pin it down in debate.
“Discordianism” = applied to non-religious politicking that attempts to immanentize the eschaton and bring about a horizontal utopia through chaos and the destruction of western civilization.
April 13th, 2010 at 1:32 pm
@Goy. Thanks for the definitions. That’s clear.
Is removing the stigma from suicide is the same as turning a blind eye it? And will removing the stigma make more people commit suicide?
For me the answer to both the above questions is “No”.
But I take your points.